Welcome, brave souls, to the most revolutionary cooking class in the history of human existence—a place where turmeric isn’t just a spice, it’s a superhero in a yellow cape, and cumin seeds whisper ancient wisdom directly into your sauté pan. Here, we don’t just cook food, oh no—we summon the spirit of flavor gods and host meditation sessions with coriander. This isn’t a class, my friends—it’s a spiritual awakening served with a side of basmati rice.

Feeling stressed? Anxious? Like your chakras are tangled up in a Christmas light disaster? Say no more! With our ancient herbology techniques, we’ll show you how to crush ginger like it owes you money, massage kale leaves until they confess their secrets, and brew herbal teas so calming, even your neighbor’s angry chihuahua will fall into a deep trance.

In our kitchen, cows roam free, chickens throw rooftop parties, and pigs… well, they’re probably writing poetry somewhere. Why? Because we believe in cooking that doesn’t just nourish you, but also allows animals to live their best influencer lives on Instagram.